dumbirish: parasailin-sarahpalin: just a friendly reminder that there are 15 and 16 year old Olympians and we’re all here in our rooms running our blogs at least were running
shadow-purple: asslenko: mormondad: obama would’ve jumped from that helicopter obama would’ve piloted that helicopter and crashed it into the olympic field, only to emerge proud and unscathed from the rubble as an eagle landed on his shoulder caw caw motherfucker
an-alaskan-bullworm: does anyone know what happened to tanya baxter like they tried to cover it up by saying she went back to school but i know. i know. disney is hiding something.
cumberbulge: my brother just sat my mum down in the living room and started crying and she was getting really worried and he burst out with ‘I’M PREGNANT’ completely seriously, and my mum started yelling and was like ‘OH MY GOD, what the fuck, I raised you to be responsible’ and she was literally ranting for about 10 minutes until she realised and quietly walked out of the room
Blood on his breath: daeynerys: believed: the year... →
daeynerys: believed: the year is 2012 sexy has disappeared once again only one man can bring it back #i want a dramatic trailer for this #i want women in tears screaming ”I CAN’T FIND IT! I CAN’T FIND THE SEXY!” #dudes trying to pull off fedoras and whispering…
polosforhomos: inthehangingtree: neverbirds: getnothingdone: has anyone noticed we brits literally take nothing seriously #we parachuted our queen into the olympic stadium #we made hundreds of Mary Poppins’ battle Voldemort is it a little late to bring in the boston tea party because you guys took that pretty harsh
dicksoclock: oh god so earlier today my dad and i came back from grocery shopping and we were putting everything away and he pulls my a box of my tampons out of the bag and turns to me and says “where do these go?” and there was kind of this awkward moment of silence before i went “…my vagina” and then he kind of just fell over and nearly cried and was like “WHICH CUPBOARD ASDGHJ”
Beijing: we want lights and precision and a good clean night
London: FUCK IT LETS MAKE IT THE SHIRE AND GET FRANK TURNER! AND LETS MAKE THE WHOLE THING VICTORIAN, BRING LOCKHEART TOO ONLY IF HE HAS A TOP HAT, MUSTN'T FORGET JK ROWLING AND BRING MR BEAN TOO ONLY IF YOU DO A CHARIOT OF FIRE MONTAGE. DAMMIT LETS HAVE A SHIT TON OF LIGHTY BEDS AND ABOUT 12 MARY POPPINS, NOW WE MUST MONTAGE BRILLIANT ENGLISH MUSIC AND THROW A SLIGHT TARDIS NOISE TO THROW THE WHOVIANS INTO PANDEMONIUM, ALSO WE MUST QUOTE THE HUNGER GAMES TO TRY AND BRING BACK THE DISTRICTS NOW LETS GET THE QUEEN AND JAMES BOND, OH FUCK IT THROW THEM OUT OF A PLANE, ITS OUR OLYMPICS AND THIS IS WHAT WE SHALL DO WITH IT, YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY
districtmayor: 17dvds: alostcorner: theandersonbrothers: I’m honestly surprised there isn’t a Hunger Games porn parody called The Hung Games where Kattits Everdeen, Peenis Mellark, and twenty-two other “teens” try to kill each other with sex at the Pornucopia. #still a better story than 50 Shades of Grey ...
mscaffrey: varens: is there a download link to become british <html>tea</html>
cacen: plot twist: the queen reveals that the olympics is actually the hunger games and all the countries are pitted against each other
You know what's kind of beautiful?
wwreakinghavocc: timorleste: In French, you don’t really say “I miss you.” You say “tu me manques,” which is closer to “you are missing from me.” I love that. “You are missing from me.” You are a part of me, you are essential to my being. You are like a limb, or an organ, or blood. I cannot function without you. in america we don’t say i love you 4ever we say i love you 5ever (dat means...
joetrohnam: YOU KNOW WHATS FUNNY AT 4AM EVERYTHING
looking up 'ear hats' on tumblr Tags →
the-absolute-funniest-posts: little-town: what i wanted what i found I laughed for a full minute at the absurdity
A post I saw on Facebook:
“Who the hell names hurricanes and why do they give them the least threatening names? If you see on the news that hurricane Erin is blowing through, you’re like ‘Pfft. Erin? I can take that slut’. But if it’s like hurricane Dicksmasher is coming, you pack up and leave.”
so I’m at Dairy Queen ordering for my family and the cashier asks whether I’d like whipped cream on the sundae so I kind of shrug and laugh and go “haha, sure, lots, whatever” and let me tell you something they ain’t fuckin around at Dairy Queen
Little boy lost at Comic Con.
winterwisdom: darthmawlly: chloeaulait: theskyisreallyfalling: At Comic Con a little boy had lost his dad in the crowd, and was scared until he saw the Flash and Wonder Woman. He went up to the Flash to ask for help, because he knows him. Adorable. jESuS AWWWWWWWWWWWWASDFGHJ
joolescoosablooncas: I need to stop imagining what I’d say in interviews if I was ever famous because I am not.
deceptiboobies: “no” i whisper as i hear footsteps approaching my room
If you don't reblog this, you're heartless.
This man was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning he breaks his legs, and every afternoon he breaks his arms. At night, he lies awake in agony until his heart attacks put him to sleep.
vasiliosversace: nutella-boy: dustyanus: thatderpwearingafedora: tunapuss: charlizesittheronmyface: iwillalwayslovethefool: Shoutout to people who can’t hear too well what they said “SHOUT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO CAN’T HEAR TOO WELL” SAUERKRAUT FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE NONE TO SELL? MA THEY’RE SELLING CHOCOLATE WHAT ARE THEY SELLING CHOCOLATES.
districtmayor: wellalright: imagine if you taught a bunch of mockingbirds or whatever to imitate dubstep and then released them into the wild. people camping at night in their tents listening to the sound of nature. and then the bass drops. MockingDeJays